


visitor

by royaltyjunk



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Bad Ending, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Black Eagles Route, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Late Night Conversations, Post-Canon, kind of, suggested non-canon compliance??, that should be a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27163769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/royaltyjunk/pseuds/royaltyjunk
Summary: “just like my parents’ house, i’ve become a visitor.” Written for Dimitrigard Week 2020.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Edelgard von Hresvelg
Comments: 10
Kudos: 55





	1. last night i had the strangest dream that you knew me, too

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Ideas: IT IS TIME  
> I almost wasn’t going to participate in this because I forgot rheuwhre but YOUR GIRL REMEMBERED and also I would do anything for Dimitrigard whatever yeah we’ve established this anyways take your food you heathens  
> Themes for Day One are justice/longing

“Thank you for helping me study tonight.”

“Of course, Lady Edelgard. There is no need to thank me.”

“Hubert, you know I must. Thank you. Good night.”

“Good night, Lady Edelgard. Should you need anything, I am at your call.”

The low dulcet tones of conversation filled the dormitory hallway, reaching Dimitri’s ears when he opened the door to his room. Glancing outside, he smiled and waved when he saw the two people engaged in conversation.

Edelgard nodded to Hubert and then walked towards Dimitri’s room, a neutral expression on her face. “My apologies. Were we being loud?”

“No, not at all.” He leaned against the doorframe, smiling slightly. “I thought I might come out to say a greeting.”

Smiling slightly, Edelgard nodded. “That is certainly a good idea on your part. I’m afraid I have been too busy to speak much with you and Claude.”

“It’s quite alright. I understand, and I’m certain Claude doesn’t mind.” After all, both of them were just as busy as she was sometimes. Although Edelgard always seemed to be busier than the two of them—flitting between the library and her room, and sometimes she was simply nowhere to be found.

Dimitri gathered his courage and smiled reassuringly at her, clearing his throat as he steeled himself to broach this new topic.

“Pardon the odd question,” he began, “but something has been bothering me for a while now. Your hair… was it always that color?”

Edelgard frowned and her arm jerked—as if instinctively reaching upwards so she could run her fingers through her hair or touch or do something with it. It was a habit Dimitri remembered her having, back when they were in Fhirdiad together.

But instead, Edelgard held onto her books and responded in a cool and calculated tone that felt nothing like the tone one would take with an old childhood friend. “That is an odd question. But yes, if you must know, it was a different color when I was a child. How could you know? Is it possible that we met before the academy?”

“No, no. I was simply curious. If it is too personal of a matter…” He hadn’t expected her to pose that question in response to him so… directly, especially when Dimitri himself knew well the answer to that question.

(Yes, they had. They had met and he had fallen in love, but she—)

“It’s… a long story.” Her gaze flickered to the window in the hallway, gazing outside at the night sky for a moment before looking back at him. “Now is not the time or place.”

“Yes, of course. My apologies for keeping you so late. Good night.” Dimitri turned his gaze down towards his hands; when she brushed past him and walked down the hallway towards her room with no hint of hesitation, he pulled the door to his own room shut again and stumbled inside.

Perhaps he should have already guessed from the way she was acting around him, but their conversation only solidified his fear. She didn’t remember him. She truly didn’t remember him.

The callous way she had rebuffed him like that, with such a hostile and guarded nature to her words… had he done something wrong, to make her forget about him?

Had he loved her for nothing, after all these years?

Longing, deep enough and heavy enough to weigh his heart down to his stomach, filled his every sensation. He wanted to go out there again, wanted to take her hand and tell her who he really was and see the way her eyes sparkled and feel her lips pressed against his and smell the roses and honey in her hair when she fell asleep beside him, safe in the knowledge that they still remembered and loved each other.

He slept in fits that night, sweat heavy on his brow and blankets tangled with his limbs so complexly that even he couldn’t tell where one started and the other ended.

Each dream he had that night was the same. His fingers, outstretched towards Edelgard. Her eyes, once so icy and hostile, now filled with warmth and understanding and familiarity. Her mouth slightly agape, the first syllable of his name falling from her lips over and over again until he woke up again to the suffocating heat of summer nights.

~ / . / . / ~

Dimitri laughed loudly and uncontrollably, eyes fixated on the face beneath the mask. She, Edelgard von Hresvelg, the girl he had loved for seven long years, stared back at him unflinchingly.

So this was the goddess’s justice, was it? Eternal years of loving, long months of knowing her yet not knowing her, and this was how it all ended? With the goddess telling him that he never should have tried, that there was no point in it all when she had been the one he had been looking for?

Well, that was certainly fine by him. He had never believed in the goddess.

He had the ghosts of his father and his mother and Glenn right by his side, whispering to him and telling him what to do. He never believed in the goddess, nor did he ever need a goddess. Not with the ghosts of the dead by his side, he didn’t.

He was the king of the dead now. He had nothing to fear, least of all the emperor he had longed for for seven long years.


	2. in the night you say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Ideas: Themes for Day Two are ghosts/scars

His fingers carded through her hair, and Edelgard sighed softly at the soothing sensation. There was something about the way Dimitri treated her, with such reverence and awe that it always made every ounce of tension leave her body.

“Stressed?” he asked, his voice low. It rumbled against her ear, and Edelgard hummed gently. Her finger drew lazy circles against his chest.

“Not really. Just… tired.” With her finger, she drew a heart around his heart. Dimitri laughed lowly and tightened his grip around her. “Mm…”

Dimitri craned his head slightly, and Edelgard smiled when she felt his lips press against the top of her head. “Did you do much today?” His fingers continued to comb through her hair, now moving his fingers up to also massage her scalp. Edelgard could feel herself practically melting into his touch.

Somehow, though, she managed to muster up the strength to shake her head. “No… I just had a few assignments to finish. Then, Professor Manuela had me attend sky watch.”

“Sky watch? It’s not often that you go on sky watch.” Kissing her head again, he smiled. “Could that be why?”

Edelgard hummed and shrugged. “Mm… I don’t quite mind, either way.” She curled tighter around him and sighed softly. His presence was just… so calming. So soothing. How she had ever been able to relax without him was a mystery to her.

Laughing gently, Dimitri sighed softly. “Well, if you don’t quite mind, I suppose I shouldn’t either.”

They settled into silence afterwards. Dimitri’s fingers combed through her hair, and her eyelids fluttered shut slowly. She rolled her shoulders slightly and opened her eyes, keeping her eyes trained on her fingers; she kept drawing little circles around his heart as she pursed her lips.

“...Dima?”

“What is it, El?”

“Tell me… you love me.”

“I love you.” Edelgard’s body melted against his, sighing softly. Hearing it from his lips… it calmed her so much. It calmed her so, very much.

“Even with all my scars and my fears and—”

“Yes. I love you, Edelgard von Hresvelg. Every part of you.” As if to prove his point, he took her hand in his and kissed the scars on her skin that marred her knuckles.

“...And I love you too. Even when your ghosts linger and haunt, and you get scared of yourself… I love you too.”

Dimitri just held her hand to his lips, drawing out the kiss that he pressed against her skin. “...Thank you,” he whispered softly with a bittersweet smile. “It… means a lot to me, El.”

“You’re adorable when you call me that,” she whispered, with such adoration that it seemed to have made Dimitri blush. He pulled her close and curled tight around her; she leaned her head against his chest and took his presence in, letting the lull of his chest accompany her to sleep.

He meant everything to her. With him, she could… let go. She could trust him with anything. She could give all her fears up and just… live. In all her time after her departure from Fhirdiad, she had never felt that way in someone’s presence before.

And the times she had? It had always been with her siblings or… with him.

She could trust him. She loved him.

When she woke up the next morning to Dimitri braiding her hair, her mind was already made up.

“I want to tell you something.” When Dimitri didn’t speak, just looked up at her and met her gaze and smiled reassuringly, Edelgard drew in a deep breath and forced back the tears already welling up in her eyes. “It’s the truth about what happened to me, and… the truth about the Tragedy of Duscur.”


	3. you won’t drown with your lover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Ideas: Themes for Day Three are mercy/fate  
> THREE DAYS IN AND I FORGOT TO CLARIFY THAT THESE FICLETS ARE NOT CONNECTED TO EACH OTHER UNLESS I EXPLICITLY STATE THAT THEY ARE WHOOPS I’M A PROFESSIONAL I PROMISE

Dimitri knelt before her, his face twisted with rage and upset. Edelgard watched him, her grip tightening around the handle of Aymr as he roared on in anger.

“Edelgard! You… I will kill you! You will know the regret of my father, who was killed for you!” The rain droned on around them, but his voice rang as clear as a knell. “Of my stepmother, who was slain by her own daughter! You will bow your head before all of the lives you trampled for your ideals before you die in misery!”

Somehow, his last words were the ones that made her swallow harshly. So, he wished her to die a miserable, unhappy death?

Funny. That wasn’t what he told her twelve years ago, in a city not too far from here.

“Your obsession with me is appalling,” she started, somehow keeping her voice steadfast and unflinching—even as she stared him right in his hate-filled and merciless eyes. “If you were a normal human, you would most certainly have died already. Farewell, King of Delusion. If only we were born in a time of peace, you might have lived a joyful life as a benevolent ruler.”

He bared his teeth at her, hand clutched to his bleeding shoulder as he sank into a crumpled, defeated mess of a king. “To the fires of eternity with you… El…”

Edelgard couldn’t bring herself to hesitate when she brought down Aymr.

He collapsed onto the ground. Edelgard turned and pursed her lips. “...Prepare a proper burial for him,” she said, turning her eyes up towards an Imperial cleric. Then, she walked down the stairs and over the hill, to gaze out at Fhirdiad.

The city where it had all started. And now, the city where it was going to end. Funny, how fate worked.

The rain beat down hard on her, but Edelgard didn’t notice. The professor asked her something—crying? Edelgard shook her head and spit out an answer, vague yet confident. They would reclaim the world for humanity again, or something like that.

“You ought to check on the troops,” she said, turning towards the professor. “This was a hard battle. Please, go check up on them. You as well, Hubert.”

“But—”

Edelgard shook her head. “Go, Hubert. Just for now… please.”

Whether Hubert knew why she wanted him to go or now, Edelgard didn’t care. He simply bowed to her and followed the professor away. Edelgard swallowed harshly and pursed her lips, forcing herself to take a deep breath.

“Breathe,” she whispered to herself. “Breathe. Deep breaths.” She forced herself to breathe, deeply and sharply. The moist and rainy air filled her nostrils—a jolt to her system that was both much-needed and needless.

Because, as much as she tried, she could not clear her mind of the gruesome scene only a walk away. The gruesome scene that she herself had been the source of.

Her fingers clenched into the folds of her skirt. Even now, after death, he haunted her thoughts. That was so like him. “Dimitri,” she said aloud, as though his ghost were right there to hear her speaking. “You must have known, didn’t you.. Dima?”

He must have known her secret. Her secret that she loved him. She had loved him before, and somehow—when she knew his body was being prepared for a proper burial? She still loved him.

But as much as she loved him, he had stood in her way. And this time… fate hadn’t let her be merciful.

Perhaps, in another time, she could have spared him. Perhaps, in another time, she could have been merciful or he could have changed fate with her. Perhaps, in another time, they would have lived a joyful life together as benevolent rulers.


	4. i guess i wasn’t, i wasn’t capable [1/3]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Ideas: Themes for Day Four are nicknames/strength  
> Days Four, Five, and Six are all connected/in the same universe. The… fic version of a trilogy? Except it’s within a collection and each book is made up of a ficlet and I’ll stop now because it’s getting confusing

Averting his eyes, Dimitri sighed and shook his head. “Yes. Perhaps someone as strong as you are can claim something like that. But you cannot force that belief onto others. People aren’t as strong as you think they are. There are those who cannot live without their faith… and those who cannot go on once they have lost their reason for living.”

Dimitri, of all people would know that best. After all… he had been exactly that.

“Your path will not be able to save them. It is the path of the strong, and so, it could only benefit the strong.”

“Heh, so you consider me strong, do you?” There was a wry smile on her lips when she asked that question.

It almost made him roll his eyes and laugh. Instead, he held it back and simply nodded.

When had she never been the strong one? Ever since they had been children, she had been the strong one. She had been the one who ventured out into the forest to make sure there was no harm in sneaking out at night, had been the one who had plucked the nettles from his boots when they had spent too long learning how to dance in that clearing, had been the one who hadn’t flinched in the sight of such a violent and frankly useless present as a dagger.

Yes. She had always been the strong one. Even now, she was the strong one. Once, Dimitri had wanted to be like her.

But he was weak. He was afraid, scared, didn’t know how to be like her.

Her path was the path of the strong. His… was the path of people learning to be strong, unlike her.

All the way back to Garreg Mach Monastery, her words kept echoing through his mind. His hand clutched the empty scabbard on his belt and his eyes drifted to stare outside, at the steep mountainside and the low valleys and the lush forests and recovering crop fields.

“...Of course I consider you strong, El,” Dimitri whispered, and then closed his eyes.

~ / . / . / ~

The strongest person he had ever known, now dead.

No. That couldn’t be possible. She had to still be alive, couldn’t she? She couldn’t have… could she…?

The professor caught his hand when he tried to turn back, simply shaking her head. Dimitri pursed his lips and followed her as she led him away from the throne room and out in front of the cheering masses.

It was over. The war was over.

That… didn’t sound right. Nothing about that sounded right. The war was over. And the war never would have been over unless Edelgard had died. But Edelgard couldn’t have died. She was strong. She could fight back. She knew who she wanted to be, what she wanted to do. She never would have let anyone get in her way.

But she was dead. If he glanced down, the tip of Areadbhar’s lance was covered in crimson blood. Her crimson blood. Her human blood.

“El,” he whispered under his breath, his fingers tightening around the handle of Areadbhar.

And here he was, standing in the castle that her family had once lived in and calling her by the nickname that her family used to call her by—lamenting what had happened to the two of them.

“...I’m sorry. For everything, El. For everything.”

Byleth turned to look at him, concern clear in her eyes. He shook his head and met her gaze, forcing himself to smile.

“Let’s go,” he said softly, and brushed past her to take the outstretched hands of the people he had to serve.

~ / . / . / ~

Years ago, she had told him she wanted him to call her “El”. “You’re my best friend,” she had said to him with a bright smile. “Only my family calls me ‘El’, but… I want you to mean more to me than my family.” If he thought back on it, her cheeks had been a soft pink back then. Perhaps he should have caught on earlier.

Perhaps, then, it could have changed all of this.

But he hadn’t. Instead, he had smiled and nodded. “Okay, El! Then… you can call me ‘Dima’! My father says Mother used to call me that. I… I want you to call me that. I want you to mean more to me than my family too. Hey, promise that we’ll be best friends forever!”

“I promise, Dima.”

Ah. If only.


	5. i want to do better this time [2/3]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Ideas: Themes for Day Five are past/future

“You made it,” he rasped softly with a smile. “You all did…”

“Don’t talk,” Byleth said in a gentle tone, reaching out to clasp his hand. Felix stood behind her, watching the two of them with an indecipherable look in his eyes.

It made Dimitri laugh softly, but then he coughed. Felix’s gaze snapped to him immediately, scowling. “Don’t laugh yourself to an early death, boar,” he snapped, reaching over for the glass of water on his bedside table.

Felix’s words made Byleth’s grip tighten around Dimitri’s hand. Dimitri simply smiled and laughed again, the sound coarse and rough. “You know it’s inevitable,” he whispered softly. “Why not enjoy myself…? I find it quite amusing that, twenty years into marriage, you still glare at anyone who holds your wife’s hand.”

The furrow between Felix’s eyebrows grew deeper, and he reached over to help Dimitri sit up. He was unusually gentle, especially after such a teasing jab on Dimitri’s part. He held the glass to Dimitri’s lips. “Drink,” Felix commanded.

Dimitri did, lowering his head when he had had his fill. “...Thank you,” he whispered.

“Where is he?” Sylvain demanded as he burst into the room.

Smiling, Byleth turned to look at him. “He’s right here, Sylvain. No need to be so frantic.”

“Just as I was saying, Sylvain,” Ingrid commented, following Sylvain into the room. The rest of the Blue Lions trailed in after her, although neither Mercedes nor Dedue hesitated. They, after all, had been the one caring for him all this time.

Mercedes stood beside Byleth, pressing a hand to his forehead before moving it down to his chest. “Deep breath for me, Dimitri.”

Dimitri tried his best to take a deep breath, but his breath was stolen from his lungs and he coughed. Mercedes smiled gently and patted his chest as Felix held the glass of water up to Dimitri’s lips.

So this was what the legendary king of Faerghus had been reduced down to now, was it? Unable to take care of himself, let alone his kingdom.

Byleth’s grip on his hand tightened. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “We’re all here. We’ll take care of Faerghus. You can rest easy. I… I don’t know what’s after this, but…”

At that, Dimitri shook his head with a smile. “You don’t know…? Weren’t you the archbishop?”

“You know I never quite cared for that kind of thing.” There was a light in her eyes, something akin to relief and gratitude. Dimitri wondered why. “But truly, Dimitri… we will care for Faerghus. So… don’t worry. Please?”

“I’ll try my best.” They all knew, after all, that Dimitri was a natural worrier. Even now, he worried—although perhaps for things different than were expected. He worried for what was to come after this, for who he was to meet after this. Would he be met with angry ghosts, screaming about how he hadn’t done his diligence as their son and their best friend?

(Because, even now, those thoughts haunted him.)

Would he be met with open arms, loving words, welcoming smiles?

And, thirty years later, would she be there? Her, strong and steady and the person who had always meant more to him than his family?

The thought made him cough, loud and guttural. Everyone rushed to his aid, trying to care for him. Dimitri coughed again, shaking his head slightly. With one last little sputter, he took in a shaking breath and shuddered when he felt his body giving in.

Ah… and there went the sun. Night had come, but so had a new dawn for the Kingdom of Faerghus.

He smiled slightly when he heard an errant sniffle from one of his classmates. Dimitri couldn’t turn his head to face them. “It’s okay… I’ll be with her again.” Dimitri forced himself to smile, swallowing harshly and taking in a shallow breath. Byleth squeezed his hand. He didn’t have the strength to squeeze back. “...I loved her,” he whispered softly, with the last of his breath. “I still do. Do you think she’ll be there…?”

King Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd was pronounced dead in the late hours of the nineteenth of December, mere minutes before his fiftieth birthday.

~ / . / . / ~

Stars collided. Planets aligned. The galaxy swam around him, cradling him in its cosmic embrace and singing an illuminating lullaby. Trails of purple and red and blue and silver drew a map that Dimitri could barely read, let alone understand.

Was this… death?

But he had already been dead. How long had it been since he ended the war? How long had it been since he laid on his deathbed and watched the sun slip away in the distance as his life slipped between his fingers?

Innumerable days. Innumerable years. Innumerable decades. Innumerable… centuries.

The nebula simply laughed. “For you, my child,” the goddess whispered, with a voice so similar to the professor’s, “the light of day will come once again.”

And then he was sent spiralling, drifting through the galaxy and the endlessly infinite cosmos until he kicked and screamed and clawed his way out of the smothering afterlife he had been sent into after a millennium of peaceful drifting in the darkness.

~ / . / . / ~

Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd was born to Lambert Egitte Blaiddyd and Demeter Blaiddyd in the early hours of the twentieth of December, in Fhirdiad Royal Hospital on 1162 Fhirdiad Court, Fhirdiad, Faerghus.

Everyone who saw him remarked on his visual similarity to the Tempest King Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd of old Imperial times.


	6. but i guess you’re better in the back of my mind [3/3]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Ideas: Themes for Day Six are dagger/masks

Garreg Mach University felt like more than home to Dimitri, for a reason unknown to him. Now that he thought about it, he had quite a few feelings that were entirely unknown to him.

Many of them seemed to relate to a certain girl in his Imperial History class.

Really, it was all quite a mystery to him. Him, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, put in an Imperial History class, with an Edelgard and a Claude—just like the last heirs of the Hresvelg and Reigan lines. It was as if the stars had aligned to do exactly that. On the first day of class, when he had asked the three of them for their names (as they happened to be sitting in a group), Professor Cichol had looked at them and then up at the rest of the class with a frown. “Are you pulling a prank? If so, then this is… quite an intriguing one. I do not usually enjoy pranks, but I can appreciate this one.”

But it hadn’t been a prank. And, ever since Dimitri had heard Edelgard tell the professor that her name was Edelgard, his heart had lodged itself into his throat and refused to escape.

Why? Why? It was as if he had opened a parentheses and forgotten how to close it. He was missing something, something was wrong, but what was it? How could he…?

The sound of a chair being pulled out made him start and look up. Edelgard sighed and placed her books down on the table before taking a seat in front of him. She held her pen in her mouth as she dug through her backpack, a clearly frustrated look on her face.

“Assholes,” she hissed through her lips as she slammed down her folder. Dimitri winced a little bit, and Edelgard glanced up before sighing softly. She removed the pen from her mouth and set it down gently. “Sorry.”

Dimitri shook his head. “No need to worry,” he said. “Is something the matter?”

“Simply people refusing to be good people.” Edelgard took a seat in front of him, setting her backpack down beside her before flipping open her folder. “You don’t mind if I study with you, do you?”

Shaking his head, Dimitri smiled. “Of course not. I was actually studying for the upcoming exam in Imperial History.”

Edelgard’s eyes sparkled with excitement. Staring at them, Dimitri felt his throat suddenly go dry. “Oh, you mean about the founding of the Adrestian Empire? I would be more than willing to help you with that. I know it like the back of my hand.”

Forcing himself to swallow and collect his breath, Dimitri nodded instead of speaking.

That night, he dreamt for the first time since he had lost his father to the accident on Duscur Road. He dreamt about holding a dagger, running to give it to someone, but who was he giving it to—? And now he was in a room illuminated in green light and underneath his foot was the crushed shards of a red and white mask and now he was pulling that dagger out of his shoulder, and where…?

Why was she there, staring at him with such a sad look in her eyes, why was Byleth the fencing assistant coach not letting him look at Edelgard, why was she so familiar, why was Edelgard so familiar to him as if she lived in the back of his mind, why was she—

He woke up an hour late for his morning class.

When he arrived at his afternoon class (after taking a pit stop to apologize profusely to Professor Essar and catch up on what they did in class that day), Sylvain took one look at him and sauntered over to where Dimitri was taking out his notebook and laptop.

“Something wrong? You don’t look like you slept well.”

“Hm?” Dimitri glanced up to meet Sylvain’s concerned glance, forcing himself to give Sylvain a reassuring smile. “No, no. Nothing’s the matter. I just… had a lot of work to do.”

Sylvain just hummed and pressed his cup of coffee into Dimitri’s hands. “Here. Just a caramel macchiato. I can always get another one.”

“But—”

“You need it more than me.” When Sylvain pressed his to-go cup into Dimitri’s hands again, Dimitri relented and accepted it. “Good.” He glanced over to his left, smiling and gesturing for someone to come over. “Hey, Marianne! Come over here.” Dimitri blinked, staring up at Sylvain, and Sylvain laughed at what Dimitri was certain was the look of bewilderment on his face. “Marianne von Edmund. She’s a really nice girl. You’ll like her for sure.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Dimitri saw a head of white sit down beside him. He turned to smile at Edelgard, about to say something, but her companion Hubert leaned over to whisper something in Edelgard’s ear. Whatever it was, it made her let out that breathy laugh and nod—staring up at Hubert with such a bright and excited look in her eyes. Dimitri averted his gaze away from them and back down to the caramel macchiato in his hands.

There it was again—that nagging feeling in his gut, like he had unsheathed a dagger and forgotten to sheathe it again. Like he had unmasked himself, and had forgotten to hide his heart again.


	7. i can’t have you disappear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Ideas: Themes for Day Seven are blood/tears

“Where are you, Edelgard!? I will not stop until I kill you!” Dimitri screamed, even as Dedue and Mercedes cradled him and pulled him away from the fight. Edelgard took a sharp, deep breath. Dimitri’s obsession with her, she would never truly understand.

For now, however? There was nothing she could do about it. She readied Aymr and her shield when she saw the Alliance forces rallying towards her. She didn’t stand a chance, she knew it, but this was her fight. She had to stand up for her country.

Edelgard gasped when the Sword of the Creator lashed out, striking her on the shoulder. She stumbled back and held her shoulder with a hand, swallowing harshly and gasping hard for breath. “I lost!? Just as I expected, you aren’t making my path an easy one. I must retreat for now. We’ll meet again on the battlefield.”

Her legion of Imperial soldiers followed her as she drew her shield up and began to retreat from the marching forces from the Alliance. Claude and the professor watched her, but Edelgard could not bring herself to care.

She had lived to see another day. That, in and of itself, was extraordinary.

They slipped into the forest, changing formation as they went. Edelgard, once held at the core, spearheaded them now. The soldiers followed behind her in a triangle format, protecting her from the back as they hurried to the rendezvous point that Hubert had designated in case they suffered a defeat.

“Edelgard! I will—!”

The roar of anger, cut off so abruptly, made Edelgard stop. She glanced around, bewildered, until her eyes landed on another legion of Imperial soldiers emerging from the forest. Their armor was marred in blood—fresh. Had they just…?

“You,” she demanded, her mind running at a thousand miles a minute. “Do not leave his body to rot in the forest. Collect it, and call for a cleric when we arrive at the rendezvous point. Enemy as he was, he deserves a proper burial.”

The words came flying out of her lips, as if instinct. Only as she continued walking, protected by her soldiers, did she realize the gravity of what she had said.

Dimitri… was gone. She had asked for them to retrieve his body, in preparation of a proper burial. And, given the reaction of those soldiers? She had been right about what had occurred right beneath her nose.

But she had prepared herself for this. She had prepared to cut down her former classmates. It had just occurred, on that battlefield only a few minutes away. She had prepared herself to fight him, to fight Claude, to fight the professor and to fight anyone who stood in her way.

So, why did she feel so… broken by the knowledge that her soldiers had just killed Dimitri?

When she arrived at the rendezvous point, Hubert and the cavalry troops were already waiting for her. Hubert’s clothes were worn and tattered—certainly from the fierce battle before—but it seemed that his wounds had already been tended to.

“Petra has already begun the journey back to Enbarr,” he informed. Edelgard nodded curtly, and glanced up at him.

“...The soldiers defeated Dimitri,” she murmured softly. “I’m asking for his body to be brought back to Enbarr. For a proper burial.”

Hubert bowed. “Understood, Your Majesty.” His eyes darted from her face to glance over her shoulder, and his face seemed to contort a bit—with what, she didn’t know. Edelgard followed his gaze, and swallowed harshly when she saw exactly what he was seeing.

Dimitri—or at least, what remained of him. Unbidden, her feet moved on their own. She watched as the soldiers placed him down on the ground, and then knelt beside him.

Strange, how peaceful he looked in death.

She reached out to brush back his bangs, but averted her gaze when she saw a deep gash etched into his forehead. Pressing her hand to his forehead, Edelgard channeled what little faith magic she had studied into his body. The wound on his forehead, gory and bloody, disappeared. Left in its place were the trails of blood. With how her hand laid, covering his forehead… it looked as if he had been crying tears of blood.

For the death of Faerghus? For the death of the Blaiddyd family? Edelgard would never know.

Then she jerked her hand back, as if she had been burned. Why did she care so much? This was her enemy—a man who had tried to kill her. Why was she caring for him like he was her lover, gone and dead and passed away?

The guilt. The caring. None of it made sense. Why? Why? She didn’t know Dimitri. Dimitri hadn’t known her.

Why was she crying for him?


	8. my mother said i was always afraid of the dark [1/2]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Ideas: Themes for Day Eight are light/forgiveness  
> Days Eight and Nine are connected as well, though separate from Days Four, Five, and Six. It’s a duology this time— /shot

The shadows moved again. Edelgard pulled her blankets over her head and took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. She had to stay calm.

Something—a loose piece of paper? A book on her bookshelf?—rustled. Edelgard flinched and bit her lip.

How long had it been since she had had a night like this, her mind so full of the paranoid possibilities and the horrid memories of the past that everything and anything in the dark terrified her?

She had thought that coming to the Officers’ Academy would have let her escape the memories that haunted her back in the castle of Enbarr. It seemed it had been naïve of her to assume such a thing.

Something rustled again. Edelgard threw off her blankets and fumbled to light the candle on her bedside. A walk. She needed to take a walk, to clear her mind. She just needed to get out of this complete darkness. She hastily grabbed a coat from her dresser, wrapping it around herself and putting out the candle before she dashed outside of her room.

The guards kept the Officers’ Academy well lit, especially past student curfew hours. Edelgard made sure to keep herself sparse, yet close to the light at the same time. Where should she go…? The cathedral, perhaps.

Well, she didn’t believe in the goddess. But it would make for a good place to calm her thoughts. She certainly couldn’t go to the greenhouse or the fishing pond or the dining hall, or any other typical place she would go in the daytime.

“Edelgard?”

She started and turned around, pursing her lips when she saw who it was that had called out to her. “...Dimitri,” she murmured softly. “What are you doing out this late?”

“I could ask you the same question,” he commented with a smile. As he drew near, she could smell the lavender and eucalyptus—fresh on his skin. “I was in the bathhouse. What about you? You don’t look like you are planning to head back to the dormitories any time soon.”

“...I was planning on going on a walk,” she admitted. Edelgard didn’t know what had compelled her to tell him, of all people, the truth. There was a sinking feeling in her gut, something that warmed her to her very core and made her feel so inexplicably safe around him.

He was supposed to be her enemy. Why did she feel like this around him?

And there it was again, flaring up in her heart. She could tell him what had happened. Stop, she tried to tell her mind, but it had already betrayed her.

“I… was having a hard time sleeping.”

Dimitri’s eyes softened. “Nightmares?”

“Not quite. Simply… bad memories of the past. But… speaking with you has made me feel better.” That, at the very least, was not a lie. “...Would you walk back to the dormitories with me?”

In the soft torchlight emanating from the bathhouse, Edelgard could see the way Dimitri’s expression shifted slightly. His eyes widened, but he maintained the gentleness of his smile. “If that is what you wish for me to do,” he murmured softly.

“If you could, I would appreciate it very much,” she whispered back.

The walk back to the dormitories was steeped in silence and the fleeting light of the torches as they kept close to the walls. No words were exchanged, even as they climbed the stairs and they stopped in front of Edelgard’s room.

As she unlocked her door, she looked up at him and swallowed. Her lips were moving again, without the realization of what she was doing—as if her body had been possessed not by her mind, but by her heart.

“Will you come in?”

This time, Dimitri didn’t question her. He answered by stepping inside of her room, shutting the door behind him. An unspoken agreement passed between them; she reached up to wrap her arms around his neck, and his hands came to settle on her hips.

“...Are you certain?” Dimitri asked, his thumbs stroking little circles against her skin.

When Edelgard fell asleep, she was almost certain that the light of the sun had begun spilling over the horizon once again.

~ / . / . / ~

It was the disturbance of sunlight, and not the abnormal warmth at her side, that woke Edelgard up the next morning.

“It’s almost breakfast,” Dimitri told her, his voice low and resonating against her back. Edelgard rolled over to look at him, humming softly.

That much, she had assumed. It wasn’t like her to sleep in so late, but… well. Given what had occurred between the two of them, she couldn’t really blame herself. “I’ll be out in a moment,” she mumbled, reaching her arms above her head to stretch languidly.

Dimitri watched her with admiration in his eyes, shaking his head. “No need to worry. Take your time.” Edelgard paused, glancing up at him, and Dimitri took that moment to reach out. “I’m still quite surprised at the change in your hair,” he commented in a gentle tone, carding his fingers through her hair. Edelgard froze.

“...How do you know that?” she asked, suddenly wary. How had he known such secret information about her? If he knew that, what else did he know? Did he intend to do something, here and now, about her? Had her worst fears blossomed into fruition?

But, unlike her scrambling thoughts, Dimitri didn’t act. Rather, her words made Dimitri pause, and he glanced up at her with a worried expression on his face. “You don’t remember…?”

“Am I… supposed to?” she asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She closed her eyes and tried to rack her brain for an answer, any kind of answer. Had she met him before their time together here? How could she forget meeting the crown prince of Faerghus?

“...El,” he said softly. “You really don’t remember?”

At that, Edelgard’s eyes flew open. “You’re—”

Memories came flooding back, memories long suppressed from the light of her mind and lost to the sands of time. Memories of dancing in a clearing with a familiar blonde-haired boy, of scolding him for taking the wrong step as they danced, of waiting beside a carriage and seeing him running towards her, a desolate look in his eyes, and that had been him.

He had been the one to give her that dagger, the one that remained attached to her belt all these years later. He had been the person who had helped her and comforted her through those horrific experiments—or at least, her memories of him. He had been the reason she had never lost her heart all those years ago, locked away in the basement of Enbarr.

When she looked up, he was looking at her with such a gentle and understanding look in his eyes that she choked.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. Sorrow and hurt and pain filled her throat, making it hard for her to breathe. She gasped and shook her head, the tears overflowing as her fingers tightened against his blankets. “I’m sorry, Dima, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

“Why are you apologizing?” he asked in such a soft tone, reaching out to cup her cheeks. “Don’t apologize, El. It’s okay, it truly is.”

Edelgard shook her head, swallowing. “Dima, I… I forgot you. I forgot you. My first love, my best friend, and I just—”

“I don’t blame you, Edelgard. Please… it’s okay. We have each other now. Isn’t that enough?” The gentle look on his face made her eyes well up again; she pursed her lips and nodded slowly. “Can I hug you…?”

She nodded, and let herself relax in the warmth of his touch. “I’m sorry,” she whispered again, this time not just for forgetting him but for what was inevitably to come, no matter how she felt about him—the war, and the revelation of what she was working towards.

“I forgive you, El… I promise. It’s okay.”

Edelgard wondered if he would say the same things when he found out who she really was, and what her intentions really were.


	9. but i’m not, i don’t mind having a ghost in my bed (hey stop, you’re doing this again) [2/2]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Ideas: Theme for Day Nine is free day  
> Anyways in case you haven’t noticed every title in this collection has come from the new OMAM single “Visitor” please listen to it OMAM is just so good and also such good food for Dimitrigard content  
> The lyrics were also the reason some of the chapters were connected so *finger guns*

She stood above him, Aymr gripped tight in her hand. Dimitri knelt before her, Areadbhar discarded at his feet. Behind him, the corpses of his companions laid behind him.

“...You won, fair and square,” Dimitri said, his voice low. “Execute me. Go on. Claim your victory.”

Edelgard sighed softly. “...You tried your best, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd. But now… it is your time to leave this world. A new future is coming to Fódlan, and I’m sorry you cannot be a part of it.”

And then she brought her axe down, intent on executing him, but something twisted her heart and made her stop. What she was doing was right, wasn’t it? This… was for the future. There was nothing else… was there? There couldn’t possibly be anything else…

But her heart twisted again, so violently that Edelgard stumbled backwards and pressed a hand to her chest.

No. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t what had happened. Her body had been monstrous, he had defeated her, she had been the one to fall… wasn’t that right?

Hadn’t it been the other way around? Hadn’t he spared her? Everything was wrong, everything was wrong, that wasn’t right, this wasn’t right.

Hadn’t he—?

“El!”

Her eyes flew open, swallowing harshly when she realized what had happened.

Ah. It had all been a dream. She must have been…

Dimitri was watching her, with such a worried expression in his eye that her heart felt like it could burst at any moment if he kept looking at her. “...A nightmare?” he asked, his voice gentle. Edelgard could only nod, and let him take her into his arms. “It’s alright, El…”

“...But what if it isn’t? What if it isn’t alright?” The words left her lips, so suddenly and certainly that it even startled Edelgard herself for a moment.

Pursing his lips, Dimitri reached up to stroke the back of her head. “What’s the matter, my El?” he asked softly and reassuringly. “What happened…?”

Edelgard swallowed harshly, and then sighed. “I dreamt that… I killed you,” she whispered, choking back the tears that were already welling up in her eyes. “I… dreamt that I killed you, because I… I thought it was the right thing to do… and… and that—”

“Oh, El,” Dimitri murmured, stroking his fingers through her hair. “El, my love…”

“What if that actually happened…?” she continued, her hand tightening into his shirt. Her ring, glistening blue even in the darkness, pressed against his stomach as she held onto him. “What if… what if I had—?”

“But you didn’t, El. You didn’t.”

“I’m still guilty, Dima. There’s blood on my hands. I’ve sacrificed so much… and yet, even though I have—”

“It’ll be okay,” he murmured softly, reaching out to card his fingers through her hair. “I’m okay with that, El.”

Somehow, even after two years of marriage and shared rulership? She couldn’t believe him.

Edelgard swallowed harshly and averted her gaze—unable to look her own husband in the eye. Dimitri didn’t seem to mind. He just kept combing her fingers through her hair. Finally, Edelgard took a deep breath and dared to speak. “...You’re really okay with it…?”

“I know why you feel that way. There is blood on my hands, too,” Dimitri murmured, continuing to comb his fingers through her hair. “But two broken halves are better than nothing, don’t you think? And, no matter what… you know I will always be with you. You know I will always stand by your side.”

Edelgard swallowed harshly, and then nodded. “...Yes. I suppose so,” she whispered. After a moment, she smiled up at him. “...Thank you, my love.”

“No need to thank me,” Dimitri said with a smile, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead. “Just like I helped you all those years ago… I’ll always want to help you. Would you like me to do anything else…? Or do you need some time alone?”

Edelgard already had an answer ready for him, even before he had finished asking his question. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her forehead against his chest. “Hold me,” she said, her voice growing soft. “And sing to me… please?”

And Dimitri did. He sang to her in that gentle and affectionate tone, just like how he sang to their children, and goddess she never could have asked for more than him—in all his radiant brilliance. What she had done to deserve him, she would never know. But she had him, and that was all that mattered.

She fell asleep, cradled in his strong arms and by the knowledge that no matter what, he would always love her.

She woke up to a soft crying and an insistent pressing at her side. Peeling her eyes open, she rolled over and immediately sat up when she saw who it was. “Don’t cry,” she whispered softly, taking her son in her arms and lifting him to sit on the bed beside her. “It’s alright, Demetrius… Mama is here…”

Demetrius sniffled, wiping his puffy eyes before wrapping his short little arms around her own. Edelgard smiled and gently pulled him to sit on her lap.

“Mama is here… what’s the matter, Demetrius?”

“Mama and Papa.”

Edelgard smiled and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “You missed Mama and Papa…? Oh, my baby. We’re right here.”

A rustling of the covers made her turn to look at her husband. Dimitri pushed himself up onto his elbows and glanced groggily over at the two of them, smiling when Demetrius crawled off of Edelgard’s lap and came to lay down beside Dimitri.

Like father, like son. Edelgard, watching the two of them, felt her heart throb with love and… gratitude. That she had a husband, that she had a son… it truly was a miracle, in so many more ways than one.

“Where’s your sister?” Dimitri asked, kissing Demetrius on the forehead.

As if on cue, a wail came from the other room. Edelgard shifted, but Dimitri caught her by the wrist and smiled up at her.

“I’ll take care of it. You rest,” he said, pulling her in for a gentle kiss before he pushed himself up even more so that he was sitting properly. Before Edelgard could protest or insist he was already out of bed, throwing on a loose silk shirt.

Demetrius whined a little bit, crawling over to his father’s side of the bed. Dimitri smiled down at his son, tilting his head.

“Come on, little lion! That’s your sister!”

Demetrius giggled, opening his arms. “Papa! Pegasus ride!”

Dimitri shook his head with a soft laugh. “Alright, alright. Hold on tight, okay? We’re going to go check on your sister together!”

The whole time, as Dimitri swept Demetrius up in his arms and carried him out of the room, their son was giggling. Edelgard watched the two of them, her heart so full of warmth and affection that she thought it might burst.

Perhaps things were not perfect. But, so long as she had Dimitri by her side? Edelgard knew she could do anything. His presence was everything she needed—encouragement, love, things she never thought she deserved. He was her everything. He would be her everything, now and forever.

And to the little ones to come, as well.

(But he didn’t know that yet.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for following along for this journey! If you like this, feel free to check out my AO3 profile for more!


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